Difficult Crew Members: How to Survive Workplace Drama Onboard
Somewhere between the second cup of bad coffee and the third round of the same corridor, it hits you: this ship isn’t just a workplace.
Unlike a job on land, where you can walk out of the office and into your own world, a ship is different. Your workplace is your home. Your coworkers are your neighbors, gym buddies, and dinner table companions. There’s no escape from difficult crew members.
You find ways to coexist. You learn who to avoid in the crew mess, who to vent to when you need a reality check, and who will have your back when things get rough.
But what do you do when a difficult crew member is always there – sharing your cabin, working your shift, or making life onboard feel heavier than it should?
Let’s talk about surviving it.
The Different Breeds of “Difficult” Crew Members
Not all difficult people are difficult in the same way. Some are loud about it. Some are sneaky. Some don’t even realise they’re doing it. If you’ve worked at sea long enough, you’ve met all of these:
The Gossip King/Queen
You’ll recognise them by their pauses in conversation, the way they lean in just a little too close. They know who’s hooking up, who’s fighting with the manager, and which officer got written up. Their currency is information, and they trade it like cigarettes in prison.
How to handle them: Smile, nod, and never give them anything juicy. If you must engage, stick to neutral topics like weather or port schedules. Remember: anything you say to them will be repackaged and sold by lunchtime.
The Lazy One
They have a sixth sense for avoiding work. You’ll see them sprint to the mess hall but move like molasses when it’s time to clean. Their favourite phrase? “I thought someone else was doing that.”
How to handle them: Document shared tasks. If they’re your direct responsibility, a polite but firm “I need you to handle this by [time]” works better than yelling. If they’re not, focus on your own duties and let their supervisor notice the pattern.
The Drama Magnet
Everything is a crisis. A misplaced towel is a personal attack. A changed roster is a conspiracy. They thrive on chaos and will drag you into it if you let them.
How to handle them: Don’t feed the fire. Respond with calm, practical solutions (“The towel’s probably in laundry – let’s check”) and avoid emotional reactions. They’ll move on to someone more reactive.
The Power Tripper
They love titles, uniforms, and reminding you they’re technically in charge. They’ll delegate everything but responsibility.
How to handle them: Kill them with professionalism. “Understood, Chief” is your best friend. If their demands are unreasonable, document and escalate politely.
The Chronic Complainer
The food is bad. The hours are bad. The job is bad. They’ve never met a situation they couldn’t make worse by talking about it. But they won’t quit.
How to handle them: Redirect. “That’s rough. Hey, did you hear about [upcoming port event]?” If that fails, limit your exposure – complaining is contagious.
The Passive-Aggressive Expert
“Oh, I didn’t realise I was supposed to refill the ice.” They’ll do the bare minimum with a side of sarcasm.
How to handle them: Address the behaviour directly but neutrally. “The ice needs refilling every shift – can you handle that today?” No emotion, just facts.
The Rule Breaker
They’ll smuggle booze, sneak passengers into crew areas, or “forget” safety drills. Fun until they get everyone in trouble.
How to handle them: Distance yourself. If their actions risk safety or jobs, report it anonymously. You don’t want to be collateral damage.
Handling Difficult Coworkers in Close Quarters
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Pick Your Battles
Some things aren’t worth the energy. If someone leaves their cups at the workstation, rolls eyes over shift swaps, let it go.
But if someone’s aggressive, bullying, or undermining your work – speak up. Address it directly or, if needed, bring it to your supervisor. Just pick your timing carefully. A well-rested person is easier to reason with than someone who just pulled an overnight shift.
Be Neutral
It’s easy to get pulled into someone else’s negativity. “Interesting.” “Hmm.” “I see.” These phrases give you time to disengage without escalating.
Gossip Spreads – Don’t Fan It
If you wouldn’t say it to the person’s face, don’t say it at all. Ship walls have ears, and word travels faster than you can apologise.
Humour – But Carefully
A joke about the coffee might unite the team. A sarcastic “Nice of you to finally show up” to a senior officer? That’s a personnel meeting waiting to happen. Know your audience. The guy who laughs at your joke today might report you tomorrow.
Boundaries Aren’t Rude
On land, if you don’t like someone, you can avoid them. On a ship, avoidance is a luxury. But you can still protect your space.
In a shared cabin: Headphones = “Do not disturb” sign. Pretending to sleep = “Do not exist.”.
At work: Keep it professional. No extra chatter.
In the crew mess: If someone’s energy drains you, sit elsewhere. Even if it means eating alone.
Stay busy, stay clear
The more you’re seen working, the less you’ll be dragged into drama. Motion creates distance.
When Conflict Can’t Be Avoided
Step 1: Keep it private
Public call-outs breed resentment. Pull them aside: “Can we talk for a minute?”
Step 2: Stay calm
Yelling turns you into the problem. Speak slowly, quietly. It forces them to listen.
Step 3: Phrase it right
“I feel frustrated when the trash isn’t taken out” works better than “You never do your job.” One opens dialogue; the other starts wars.
Step 4: Escalate wisely
If it’s affecting work, go to a supervisor with facts, not feelings. “This happened three times this week” is stronger than “They’re lazy.”
Step 5: Know when to walk away
Some people won’t change. Repeat to yourself: “This is temporary.”
Surviving the Long Haul
You might like reading: What Burnout at Sea Looks Like and How to Recover from It
Find your people. Every ship has a few sane ones. Stick with them. Share meals, vent safely, remind each other it’s not forever.
Escape when you can. Get off the ship. Sit in a portside café. Breathe air that isn’t recycled.
Write it down. A journal or voice notes let you vent without consequences. Sometimes, seeing it written makes it smaller.
Move your body. Gym, yoga, running laps on deck – physical stress needs physical release.
Remember the timeline. Contracts end. Ships change. The person driving you crazy today will be a story tomorrow.
This Too Shall Pass
One day, you’ll pack your bags and step off this ship. The people who tested your patience will become nothing more than a funny story you tell over drinks in some distant port. What will matter is how you kept your balance in the storm.
In the moment, it’s hard. But ships move. People sign off. New contracts start.
And the best thing you can do? Keep your head high, do your job well, and let the waves take the rest away.
